save my life

Category: Writers Block

Post 1 by ThaCake (Not the best, just better than you.) on Sunday, 05-Sep-2010 11:55:15

A moonlight dance.
A shadow prance.
This is the last one.
A final chance.

A singing bird's cry.
A gnome's dirty lie.
This is the last one.
A final try.

Where I am no angels sing.
Where I am there's no joy to bring.
I've met him now.
I know the king
Of evil.

The deep, deep, darkness
Like down in a well.
I've seen this before.
It's the pits of hell.

I can't open it.
The door is locked.
I can't answer it even if someone knocks.
I'm trying so hard,
But I cannot fight.
Someone come get me.
Save my life

Post 2 by TheAsianInvasion (The Zone's invader) on Sunday, 05-Sep-2010 12:24:22

wow, this is deep...

Post 3 by Sword of Sapphire (Whether you agree with my opinion or not, you're still gonna read it!) on Sunday, 05-Sep-2010 16:28:41

Good metaphors and imagery. Also, I liked how you switched the pattern of rhyme. It flows quite nicely.

Post 4 by laced-unlaced (Account disabled) on Monday, 06-Sep-2010 4:59:15

it's good